originally
published 12/12/08
Remember when the Berlin Wall got toppled and
hordes of East Germans immediately headed west
like Forty Niners in a gold rush? Eager to see
for themselves what the Soviets had been keeping
secret for so many years, West Germany's
autobahns were suddenly cluttered with East
German Trebants --
little low-tech wheezers that could barely get
out of their own way let alone the way of a
Bimmer clipping along at a buck-thirty-five.
Our beloved German Shepherd, Axl, can easily win
a 0-30mph drag race with a
Trebant.
Our lawn tractor with its Briggs and Stratton
engine is more reliable and
easier
to maintain than a Trebant and it climbs
hills better too. The relic toaster in our
kitchen
boasts more modern styling than a Trebant that
was manufactured in
the same year.
Which slime ball car guy was responsible for
putting all of those noisy, unsafe-at-any-speed,
hyper-polluting scheissewagens on the road?
Blame it on the Car Czar.
The Car Czar, that purveyor of automotive
schlock; that despicable denizen of dictatorship
showrooms; that government approved slickster-without-a-conscience
who would cram people into rust-prone death
traps with a shoehorn and grease to meet his
monthly quotas. That same double-dealing
sales-o-crat who would move a customer to the
head of the delivery waiting list if he slipped
him pair of American Levis that he could sell on
the black market.
Consumer Reports won't tell you this, but
the Car Czar appears to be alive and well and
could be heading to a
US-owned auto dealership near you. Beware folks
because the Car Czar will look and sound much
more legitimate, if not American, this time
around.
No longer wearing your Uncle Frank's castaway
tweed suit and six-inch-wide knitted tie that
was sent to Europe in a CARE Package
(but
which somehow found its way into the inventory
of an East German thrift shop)
the Car Czar will now be sporting new threads
from the Men's Wearhouse, purchased with a
federal work clothing allowance check.
This time around he'll boast about consumerism
instead of communism. He'll be all about
government emissions control, safety, fuel
economy and recycle-ability standards. He'll use
the word green a lot, except as it
relates to the extra dead presidents' pictures
you'll need to pony up if you want to do the
politically correct thing.
This time around the Car Czar will tout tax
credits but will avoid telling you that there
won't be any price cuts or rebates to help lower
your monthly payment. He definitely won't
explain that a team of crack tax accountants
will be required if you expect to ever see a
dime's worth of your "green incentive" money.
On a more serious note, a Car Czar would be the
overseer of a sales plan with the potential to
marginalize, if not destroy, the domestic auto
industry quicker than you can say: "The UAW is
on strike!"
While import brands
(including those manufactured right here in the
fly-over states at an unfair cost-per-unit
advantage over their American counterparts)
will continue to be marketed as usual, domestic
companies will be forced, through government
intervention, to make fewer so-called gas
guzzler models. Specifically, those
high-quality full-sized trucks and SUV's that
sold well until fuel prices suddenly spiked.
The likes of which Asian companies have been
unable to perfect, let alone sell for less.
Worse yet, domestic automakers will be compelled
by the Car Czar to compete head-to-head with
Asian manufacturers in their most successful
niches; the ones they carved out for themselves
over decades in fierce hand-to-hand combat with
each other as much as with the Big Three.
Still up for grabs is the alternative power
vehicle market. But unless the Obama
administration's Depression Era-style
infrastructural works program includes the rapid
construction of a vast network of electric and
alternative fuel filling stations, sales of
new-tech cars will remain as stalled as a
Trebant at a downtown Stuttgart traffic signal.
If you think the West Germans had road rage when
those Trebants hit the autobahn just wait until
the Pentagon is forced to procure jeeps from the
guys they fought in World War II.
Update...
As many
readers know, I have worked for automobile
manufacturers and new car dealerships for the
last 23 years. I
have been affiliated with General Motors since
1994.
Speaking for myself and
my employer (a Buick GMC Cadillac
dealership)...
-
Our volume and income
were off 50% in 2009 (2008 was not
exactly a banner year either).
-
There has been a
severe shortage of new vehicle inventory
since the summer of 2009.
-
Trucks and popular
crossover models, in particular, are scarce.
-
GM has eliminated its
Pontiac franchises (along with Saturn,
Hummer and Saab).
-
We were one of the
strongest Pontiac dealers in our region. In
this area, Pontiac car sales had been a major
part of our former success. Smaller
cars like the Vibe, G5 and G6 sold nearly as
well as GMC trucks -- a staple in this
rural, agricultural area in which plowing
snow is a necessity.
-
More stringent
emissions regulations will make many 2010
GMC Truck models significantly more expensive --
particularly those with fuel-efficient
diesel engines.
-
"Cash for Clunkers"
created a brief sales spurt but disturbed
the normal trade-in cycle and created a
shortage of used cars -- especially used
trucks. Supply and demand has made for
higher used vehicle prices, which is bad for
both the seller and the consumer.
read: The
After-Math of Cash for Clunkers
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